As a seasoned household lawyer, I’ve seen all of it – however largely, I’ve seen greater than my share of contentious divorces. And I’ve discovered that whereas no two separations are the identical, there are particular pink flags tending to sign that one partner will make the method tougher than needed.
In case you’re getting ready to separating, it’s necessary to maintain an eye fixed out for these indicators. It would assist you put together for what lies forward, and keep away from pointless stress.
Beneath are 5 of the widespread ones:
1. A Historical past of Management Points
In case your partner has persistently tried to manage you throughout your marriage, you may guess it will carry over into the divorce course of.
It would appear like an try to manage the division of belongings, the parenting schedule, and even the tempo at which the divorce proceeds. Your partner could stonewall on reaching a compromise, or merely drag out the proceedings unnecessarily.
On this case, be ready for the potential of prolonged negotiations, loads of delays and pointless motions, and having to battle tooth-and-nail to get a good end result—with the courtroom’s assist alongside each step of the best way.
2. Unrealistic Expectations
The subsequent pink flag entails unrealistic expectations. Divorce is already an emotional course of, but when your partner has an unrealistic imaginative and prescient in regards to the end result—whether or not on asset division, youngster custody, or spousal assist—it could actually trigger important delays and extra battle.
Your partner could battle to grasp the fact of your respective authorized entitlements. They could really feel entitled to greater than they need to fairly anticipate—or conversely, they make assume it’s best to get far lower than what you legally deserve. It may be troublesome to dislodge these far-fetched and misguided beliefs.
It’s not all the time straightforward, however the secret’s to assist educate your partner (and your self) by working with carefully along with your respective legal professionals and with a mediator, to assist handle these expectations.
3. A Vindictive Angle
In case your partner tends to carry grudges or shows a “win in any respect prices” mentality, they’ll probably use the divorce as a chance to be vindictive, search revenge, and to harm you emotionally.
This may result in battles over probably the most trivial points, corresponding to who will get to maintain insignificant private belongings. It might imply a scarcity of compromise over minor points, corresponding to who will get extra time with the household pet. Your partner could even use your kids as a weapon, and attempt to manipulate parenting agreements and trigger you further inconvenience, value, and grief.
Navigating this requires endurance and a robust authorized technique, in order that your pursuits and emotional well-being are protected.
4. A Tendency to Lie or Disguise Belongings
In case your partner tends to be dishonest or secretive, this may make your separation and divorce particularly troublesome. Any partner with a historical past of mendacity or mismanaging funds in the course of the relationship will typically not hesitate to attempt to disguise belongings, or downplay their monetary standing, in the course of the divorce course of.
Monetary transparency shouldn’t be essential in a divorce, it’s additionally legally mandated beneath Canadian Household legislation. However this doesn’t cease some divorcing spouses from their dishonesty, particularly in high-asset instances. Your lawyer could must contain forensic accountants or different specialists to uncover hidden belongings or guarantee correct monetary disclosures are made.
5. A Narcissistic Character
Lastly, one of many greatest pink flags has to with narcissism—or at the very least narcissistic traits. In case your partner has a super-inflated ego, they’ll are inclined to view divorce as an assault on their self-worth. They could go to nice size tends to “win” the method, utilizing unreasonable ways.
This might contain an unwillingness to compromise, and never following procedures merely to realize a authorized or emotional benefit. In brief, they’ll manipulate the authorized course of to serve their self-interest, even on the expense of your kids.
The excellent news is {that a} strong authorized crew that understands how one can take care of narcissistic conduct may also help decrease the emotional toll and maintain the deal with a good decision.
Last Ideas
Recognizing these warning indicators early on may also help you and your authorized crew put together for a troublesome divorce course of. It’s essential to work with an skilled divorce lawyer who may also help shield your pursuits and information you thru what might be a tumultuous course of.
At Russell Alexander Collaborative Household Attorneys, we specialise in serving to shoppers navigate even probably the most advanced and high-conflict divorces. Our collaborative strategy goals to scale back stress and promote truthful outcomes, however we’re additionally well-prepared to litigate aggressively when needed. In case you’re dealing with a difficult divorce, attain out to us for steering.”